Soul Searching (the final part of) Part II

FINALLY! I hear you saying.Here it is guys!

Minutes pass that seem like hours, and hours pass that seem like minutes. We sit, entranced, on the edge of our seats as Zain animatedly tells us all that we’ve been longing to hear.


Kieran and I, we’re connected on another level. More intense than most people can ever even hope to experience. But with the magnitude of this dependency comes consequence.

“Your souls are like conjoined twins…” He says. People have always said that Kieran and I were joined at the hip. I guess they weren’t so wrong. “… That share a vital organ, if you are separated, your condition, both physical and mental, will deteriorate until eventually, you die.” Those last words are so blunt, so final that it seems all the air has been sucked out of the room. We sit in a stunned silence; my head feels suddenly dizzy again.

Zain leans forward in his seat, the expression on his face serious, almost grave.

“You guys are lucky you found us when you did. Another couple of days being separated like that and for one of you this might have proved fatal.”

“But… but…” I blurt out, shaking my head “we were with each other practically all the time, I mean, apart from the first few days, but after we figured out something was wrong…” I trail off.

“I didn’t mean to do anything,” Kieran says softly, solemnly looking at his shoes like a kid being made to apologize for some petty playground crime. “I… I was just so angry… I can’t even remember what about.” He looks up sharply, his determination barely covering the fear and vulnerability beneath. “You can fix us right?” Kieran demands tentatively, he seems almost afraid of what the answer might be.

After an agonizing pause Zain finally replies “Of course.” With a small, but reassuring smile. I hear Kieran echo my sigh of relief. “Actually, you probably could have fixed it yourselves if you knew how, although it requires cooperation on both parts.” He looks sharply at Kieran, although he can see something in his mind.

In the Soul Society logic doesn’t exist in the same way as anywhere else, like a faerie plain from old folklore. Zain said earlier that sometimes you can catch glimpses of things in other people, not just your own soul mate, sometimes even glimpses of the future. There’s no art to it, no way it can ever be controlled or pinned down, it just… happens.

I choose not to linger on whatever Zain saw, and neither does he, choosing instead to delve back into his lecture.

“From the very moment your eyes first met, your minds have been connected, no matter how far apart, physically, you were from each other, and pretty much always will be. But if either of you so something, either accidentally or on purpose, to disrupt that bond and cut yourself off from your partner, it can have fatal consequences, as I’ve already told you.”

We spend hours learning how to reach out to each other with our minds, reforming the bonds. We also learn how quickly they can be shattered. Zain teaches us how to send snippets of thought to each other and build walls and doors in order to keep our private thoughts in place.

“It takes a long time to master these techniques, to be able to truly control what you share. Most of the time, if you feel strongly about something, it’s harder to control it. Thoughts are easier to screen than emotions.

“Of course, there are always some who seem to master these things quicker than others, and are also able to become stronger in their techniques, so strong sometimes that their partners can barely feel their presence.” This time Zain is looking straight at me. I feel like those eyes can see right through me, all the ways to the things that I don’t even know about myself yet.

He holds my gaze for a few seconds, searching, but then turns back to his lecture. I glance over Kieran, but he didn’t seem to notice what just happened. He is staring out of the large window beside us. With our minds finally reconnected I can see that he’s thinking about the time. I can’t tell how long we’ve been here. The sky outside the window seems forever blue.

Later on Zain is telling us a little more about the Soul Society and I can’t help but marvel at the enthusiasm he’s managed to keep up all this time. There is so much information that he has to get through to me and Kieran and yet he has managed to keep our attention from wondering better than any teacher I’ve ever had, and this lesson has gone on far longer than the standard hour.

The Soul Society is a safe haven for people like us. There is no need to remain connected here; nothing affects us if we shatter. It’s like our bodies our frozen in time, making deterioration and ageing impossible, although over time appearances tend to become… altered, like Zain’s eyes and hair. The more time someone spends here, the more resistance they build up to the harsh forces of the outside world. It’s almost as if they become part of the place itself as the power they possess here in their minds slowly begins to return to the world with them.

Many people who have lost their Soulmates choose to live on here, never ageing, in this dreamlike place where everything comes down to the mere power of the mind. They choose to live on and help the next generations from making the same mistakes, even though they are missing half their being.

“Zain, these people, these… lost souls you are talking about…” I struggle to find the right words.

“- am I one of them?” He finishes my question for me. The glint seems to fade from his eyes a little, a sad smile playing on his lips. “I’m afraid so.” He sighs and refocuses on us, his expression very serious.

“I think it’s time for you to learn that the Soul Society has enemies. Enemies that will ruthlessly destroy your bonds and torment your soul, then consume what little you have left and use it to feed their own sick addiction. They are so changed by this habit that they can barely be classified as human. I’m talking about the Gamaitha.”



“The legend of the Gamaitha says that hundreds of years ago, after the loss of his partner, one lost soul went mad from grief and started to consume the bonds between others to try to fill his aching hole in his heart, this consumption caused significant mental and physical changes in him, most of all the addiction to the minds of Soulmates. I guess only the Gamaitha themselves will ever know how much of that is truth. As protection from the growing number of these enemies in the world, the Soul Society was formed as a haven for those on the run, and a place to live on for those who had fallen victim.

The word originates from the ancient Germanic form, gamaithaz that was applied to people who were mentally ill, the original idea being that they were ‘changed’ from a normal state and ‘different’ from ordinary people.

Nowdays, that Gamaitha are a secretive race of not-quite-human creatures whose sole purpose is to seek out and harvest souls such as yourselves. They live among normal people, but generally keep to themselves. Children of the Gamaitha are trained from a young age to become hunters, even warriors of their kind. We can’t even begin to know how many of their kind there are across the world. No matter how many fall, there are always others to take their place.

“The Gamaitha have evolved to have inhuman reflexes and speed, they have the ability to move silently and stealthily, and are known for their dark appearances.

“ Now listen to me, because these words are probably the most important thing I can tell you. You must not allow anyone to find out what you are. Because if you do, one of them will be listening. The only safe place for you to talk out loud about any of these things is here, in the soul society. Do you understand?”

“If you are ‘harvested’ by a Gamaithan warrior, they won’t kill you. They will keep you locked away a rip apart your bonds, feeding on your pain and loss as you slowly fade away. When they are finished with you not even your soul will have the energy to keep in existence and trade in for a new life. You will be nothing but dust.”

Kieran and I sit, stunned into silence by our mentor’s words. Across from us he sits stiffly in his chair, his fists clenched. Shining purple hair hangs around his face which is contorted into an expression of rage.

We can both guess what happened to his Soulmate.

“I’m so sorry.” I finally manage to choke out, reaching forward as if to comfort him in some way.

A clap of thunder sounds outside and I jerk back, taken off guard. The warm and welcoming atmosphere of the room has shifted so that it’s whiteness seems cold and empty. The once blue sky outside the window has been smothered by angry black storm clouds, violent rain batters against the window pane. I turn back to my mentor but both he and his armchair are gone. Disappeared into thin air.

“Kieran…” I say softly as a second roll of thunder crashed through the clouds outside. I wait for his reassuring reply but it doesn’t come. He has disappeared just as Zain did before him, and I am completely alone.

I start to panic. The light is slowly leaching from the room, gradually plunging me into darkness.

I spring to my feet and spin around frantically, searching the seamless walls for some way escape. The chair I was just sitting on a couple of seconds ago has vanished. The sounds of the storm are getting louder. The room darker.

A sudden peal of thunder that is so loud it sounds like it’s in the room with me makes me jump and shriek. “Zain? KIERAN?” I shout out his name in panic. He’s not in my head, he’s not anywhere…



…I’m running. Rain attacks my bare arms and face. It’s so dark but the intense grief pulsing thorough me keeps me fumbling blindly through the storm.

Then, suddenly, I’m standing, dripping in a doorway. The room beyond it is lit only by a streetlight outside the window. I pick out the familiar furniture and realize where I am.

This is Kieran’s front room.

I step into the dark house. Over the rain I can hear someone crying softly. Kieran’s panicked thoughts buzz though my head.

They’re gone, gone. They’re gone. Oh God no, they’re gone…

“Kier?” I whisper, following the sound of his muffled sobs to the big red sofa against the far wall.

There’s a gap between this sofa and the wall that used to be just big enough for one of us to wriggle into. We’re fourteen now and, at six foot; Kieran is the tallest in our year at school. To fit into our old hiding place as it was would be a miracle.

At some point the gap-behind-the-sofa has been passed down to Kieran’s six year old sister, Heidi, who also happens to be a hide and seek fiend. Kieran and I have spent many afternoons searching under cushions and behind doors while she hides, giggling, in the same place every time.

He loves that kid so much. He always says that if she ever wanted a boyfriend, he’d have to go through him first. This, of course, makes Heidi giggle and pull faces at the absurd thought of being anywhere near those ‘smelly boys’.

We’re his girls, Heidi and I. I know that he’d do anything for us.

I creep towards the sofa and notice that the heavy piece of furniture has been pushed out at an odd angle.

It is here that I find him.

Kieran is curled up into a ball in the small space, tightly clutching one of his sister’s toys to his chest. His body shakes as he sobs uncontrollably.

I blink back my own tears at the shock of seeing Kieran in such a state.

I reach out to touch his arm and he flinches, cringing away from me. He looks up and meets my gaze and his eyes are full of fear. We look at each other for a few moments, listening to the pounding rain outside, until that fear is slowly replaced with recognition.

“Scarlett?” Kieran asks in a voice hoarse from crying.

I just nod my head. Suddenly his eyes are full of tears again, but I think I see a little relief through the pain. He curls back into a ball as violent sobs rack his body once more.

Kieran’s grief washes over me twice as strong as before and I allow the tears it brings to silently roll down my cheeks.

I crawl into the small space and curl up alongside him, taking his shaking body into my arms. At my touch he uncurls slightly and buries his face into my damp shoulder like a small child.

Kieran tries to say something but is interrupted by a fresh round of small sobs. I pull him closer, shushing him and stroking his sandy hair.

“It’s ok.” I whisper, “You’ll be OK” Although I have a strong feeling it all, really, isn’t.



The storm rampages outside as we lie curled together behind the sofa and Kieran’s tears slowly re-soak my t-shirt. I can’t help but cry with him. His grief is so strong it almost blocks out my own emotions, I can’t even get through to see what caused him to become such a mess.

After a while, Kieran’s sobs subside but he still makes no sound or movement. I assume that he has fallen asleep, exhausted from the earlier hysteria. I press my lips to his hair, inhaling the familiar scent. I can’t believe that the Kieran curled up in my arms is the same one that I’ve spent almost every waking moment of my time since I was four years old with. Not in all the ten years I’ve known him have I seen him in such a vulnerable state as this.

“Poor Kieran I whisper sleepily into his hair, finding myself being lulled by the consistent patter of rain on the window and Kieran’s steady breathing beside me.

My eyelids are just about to drift closed when Kieran whispers my name, bringing me back to consciousness.

“Scarlett. They’re dead. The warriors…” He mumbles into my shoulder.

“What? What are you talking about?” I ask, trying to keep the panic out of my voice. I have been so preoccupied with the state of my Soulmate; I have barely though to prepare myself for what was to come.

He takes a deep breath before he continues and I wriggle down to look into his tear-stained face, searching for something that tells me this isn’t true.

“The Gamaitha. They’ve found out who I am. They came for me… but I… They killed the Scarlett. My Parents…” He stopped and struggles to compose himself then forces out the last words, they are barely the ghost of a whisper. “Heidi… I couldn’t protect her.”

My breath catches and it takes all of my will power not to burst into more dry sobs. We both ran out of tears a long time ago.

“We should call Zain.” Is all finally manage to say. I can’t deal with this now. I almost lost him, if Kieran had come home ten minutes earlier… I start to move but he tightens his arms around me.

“No, I just, I can’t face anyone right now.”

“But…”

“Please. You’re the only thing I have left.” He whispers, touching my cheek. “I don’t, ever, want to let you out of my sight again, because I know that losing you will hurt a thousand times more than this. And I don’t think I could live through it.”

His words stun me into silence and I let him pull me in so my cheek is resting against his shoulder. After a while I say,

“We can’t stay here.” And he knows I don’t just mean behind the sofa. The fact that his identity has been discovered means that we will have to leave everything we know behind and restart life again somewhere far away. If we stay, there is a good chance that the same fate will come to everyone close to me as to Kieran’s family today. Including Kieran.

“I know” Is all he replies and we don’t say another word. Slowly, gradually, my eyelids become heavier and heavier and I drift away in his arms.

<3